EDITOR’S BLURB
Back in November, I passed
another birthday but am miraculously still 23 years old!!! I had a great night out (I think), coming
back to Bristol on the Saturday before the ‘day of ageing’. Claire had passed around the word that we
had an excuse for a piss-up and that Bristol MAG would be taking over the Old
Fox in Easton, which we did pretty well.
Several of us met up at Claire and Tim’s house where the bar opened with
Absinthe and Tequila, which I recommend are drunk together – they both taste
disgusting so you may as well chuck ‘em in the same glass! Eventually we got to the Old Fox, briskly
crossing Easton in the horrendous rain, and shouted in some beers – wow! The barman is a saint – about six real ales
on tap with numerous bottles behind the bar, including a few Belgian delights
that tasted gorgeous.
Lots of people were there
when we arrived, about six of whom were nothing to do with us (they left
shortly after and we had nearly the whole pub to ourselves!) and much drinking,
chatting, joking etc ensued.
Once the barman kicked us out, we headed back to Claire and Tim’s for a few more bevvies and I (apparently, because I don’t remember this part of the evening!) fell asleep in lots of different places around the house, like the microwave (on it, not in it!) and the toilet (I wasn’t sick, just looking for a quiet place). I would like to thank everyone who bought me drinks and gave me cards and especially Claire and Tim, thank you.
Christmas Eve was also a good beer session, with Bristol MAG on our usual pub crawl around town! Starting in the Hope and Anchor with good beer and food inside us, we trekked around various public hooses that proffered a decent pint of ale, collecting chrimble decorations and jokes as we went. Ending up in the very fine Cornubia, we were treated to mince pies ‘n’ cream and pickled eggs – for some reason someone (I think it was Lew) decided it would be a tasty treat to stick the pickled egg in the top of the mince pie – well we’d had a few by then!
By the time you are reading
this, I will be waiting for my (1st
set of many) exam results - if I have failed them I shall be leaving the
country, so if I am still around – tuff poo ‘cos it means I am intelligent
after all!!! However, if I do
fail…well, let’s not go there!
I am currently in the middle
of another beer experiment – this time I’m attempting to make an apple ale (a
sort of beery cider) and it definitely smells alcoholic – I wonder what it will
taste like???
I hope that you have all been
out to the various bike parties so far this year and not still sat at home
waiting for the sunny weather, (a long wait ahead if last year is anything to
go by!) ‘cos we’ve been having some fun, as you will see.
The Bristol Beer Festival was
again attended by various members of the Western Region and a good time was had
by all – this year we went on the Friday night so the full range of beers,
ciders and perrys were available.
Attendees included persons from Bristol, NotAvon and Weston MAG and many
beers were sampled with a few returning to Claire and Tim’s house for a
continuation of consumption! (Is this
the new party house I wonder??)
The magazine will (hopefully)
be produced three times a year – March, June and September, as there is little
to say about the winter – only a few of the diehards go out for rallies and
parties which means there is not enough material for two issues between
September and March! There will also be
advertising space available in this ‘ere magazine: if anyone wishes to place an
ad, please contact me.
Cath.
Please write to: The Editor,
WRAG mag, c/o 7 Glenarm Walk, Brislington, Bristol, BS4 4LS
My
first but not last not so so-so soup run.
Ok I’m comparitively new to
this MAG-meeting thingy; 18 years of biking, 10 years of MAG membership and
only a handful of meetings under my belt (so to speak). If only I’d known what I was missing
(Thursday’s pub quiz with the snow-boarding crowd will have to wait for another
lifetime!). the only concerns I had
were raised when I overheard someone talking about ‘Julian trussed’; was this
really the right bike-group for me?
With my misgivings and earwax
removed, I was well up for the ‘Not so so-so soup run’ to the Julian Trust on
the 15th October.
Arrangements were made to meet at the Waggon and Horses at 10am, so at
9.45 I was loading up with Alka-Seltzer and a pile of those cans of food that
lurk in the back of the cupboard (especially chick peas).
Down at the ‘Waggon’ the Not
Avon guys had arrived and all attention was focused (pun inexcusable) on
Reverend Tim’s frame mounted camera arrangement: “very trick – it’ll look great
if you trash it today; we can watch the footage in slo-mo at next week’s
meeting” quipped an ever-jovial but rarely tasteful Eddie.
Rev. Tim and myself took a
quick break from the civilised ride down the A38 for a petrol stop; the
evangelical spirit took over as the Rev. zoomed in on a group of all-in-one
leathered sporty weekend riders; “you commin down Burrington coombe?” he
probed, balncing manners with enthusiasm.
The result was a look of complete bemusement. He loaded their Dainese gloves with fliers but there were to be
no souls saved at Dundry filling station today.
The coffee-shop at ‘the
coombe’ was overloaded with bike-riders, most of them in brightly coloured lycra. My head raced and then the Alka-Seltzer
kicked in as a lycra-clad woman as old as my mum volunteered “We see you guys
every year; we have our meeting the same day.”
She was entered for the cycling hill-climb up the Commbe: fair play to
the lady.
The call came for marshalls;
“You marshalling?” asked Claire. “Um,
no.” I replied and then quickly reconsidered; the opportunity of donning a MAG
bib and blasting down the outside of the run to stop cagers so they could watch
a hundred bikes cruise through red lights, was too much to resist. I was new to this so listened to the
briefing attentively; it all sounded very civilized and organised. I was green, but very yellow in my bib, so
off we went.
The ride into town iwas
great; there really is nothing like riding with a large group of other riders
(cue gushing ‘Easyrider-type’ hyperbole…) and most car drivers were really
patient once the charitable nature of our actions had been explained to
them. Only a couple of drivers wanted
to barge into the run but soon backed down when they realised how resolute (but
polite) the marshals were.
The arrival at the Julian
Trust was high-spirited. Andy took
centre-stage for a photo-shoot with a basketful of offerings for the volunteers
to collect, the Evening Post (or anywhere else) has seldom seen such a grin
amidst a sea of black leather. Once
inside, the volunteers warmed us up (with a cup of tea) and there was a quick
whip-round (ok, ok). The Julian Trust
were chuffed with the piles of tins and a financial offering of £180 and there
were smiles all-round from participants.
On a slightly down side, one
person (I overheard) was not chuffed with the way some ‘novices’ conducted the
marshalling; from my point of view, if someone is an expert and wants something
done to their standards, they need to communicate those standards to others
beforehand, not complain afterwards.
Making things run smoothly takes skill, criticising does not and priase
is due to Andy and the others (we know
who you are!) who quietly, and without any fuss, did all the hidden footwork
behind the biggest run of the year for Bristol MAG.
Well done! Chris.
Ali's birthday bash
Firstly thank-you to everyone who came, we all had a great
weekend. The party started on the
Friday night at our local, the Crossways Inn at West Huntspill. They have fifteen beers on the bar and also
serve great food. Mike, Tony and Trish
from NOTAVON stayed over and other friends and family made it a good night.
On
Saturday morning Ali went off to collect the PIG, it was a whopper! So big we had to cut off its head and
trotters to fit it into the pig oven.
As you can imagine four of us wrestling with this pig on the dining room
table was a scream. We finally got the
pig in the oven and lit it, leaving my son Steve and his girlfriend Cath in
charge of the pig while we went off to Dunster on our bikes.
It
was a great day for a ride and Dunster is a nice place to visit. We had a mooch around and had a bite to
eat. After we left the pub I checked my
mobile…FIFTEEN MISSED CALLS!…all from my son, they were having a nightmare, the
pig had come loose inside the oven, so with help from the neighbours they had
managed to sort everything out. By the
time we got back it was cooking a treat. Partygoers were beginning to arrive
and set up tents in the garden. The pig
was being cooked in the garage in a very large oven, it was portable but it
took a good team effort to wheel the pig and all the other stuff down to the
British Legion. We did manage to drain
most of the pig fat out before its little journey, but we still left a trail of
fat all down the road.
Over
a hundred people came to the party, the pig roast went down a treat and the
MUDSHARKS put on a great show as usual.
Beer was served till well past two, so by the time we all got back to
our house it was about three. As you
can guess the party went on until around six in the morning (for those who went
to bed before six, I must own up it was me playing the BLUES BROS VERY LOUD and
dancing around the tents with Andy from the Mudsharks…sorry).
By
nine o’clock the first bacon butties were being served, and some very tired
looking people were emerging from their tents and sleeping bags. The worst person was Andy mudshark, he went
down the corner shop and drank a pint of milk and topped it off with a bottle
of Lucozade…(it did not aid recovery!)
Thanks
again to everyone who came and helped, it was very much appreciated.
After Sunday lunch at the Crossways it was time for
BED.
For
all those who did not make our last two parties, STAR WARS and the birthday
bash we have been asked if we could hold an annual event down here in
Somerset. A pre DUCK DIK perhaps? So on
Saturday 3rd March the first one, PIG WARS, will take place at
Pawlett British Legion. There will be a
PIG ROAST and the MUDSHARKS will be playing.
Tickets will cost five pounds to cover costs and it will be open house
again at 32 Quantock Rise as usual.
Milktray
MAG ON A MISSION FROM GOD
The final tour of the BLUES
BROTHERS came to the Bristol Hippodrome in December and I had purchased thirty
front row seats. Bristol and Notavon
MAG turned out again, and we all had a great time. We met in the Horn and Trumpet for a few beers before and after
the show. Ourselves, we came up from
Somerset in a mini bus with a party from Ali's Veterinary practice - it made it
a late night as we dropped everyone home.
The night before, as those who came know, the Mudsharks played at the
Naval Volunteer, Bristol, so all in all we had a cracking weekend.
LETTERS
Dear WRAG mag
I have heard a lot about the
‘bikes in bus lanes’ and that Bristol was one of (if not the) first to allow
this and last week I had the good fortune to visit your fine City. I also found the excellent bike park opposite
the Argos shop in Broadmead but wondered how exactly you operate the locking
devices provided? I had some trouble
working it out and ended up just putting my disc lock on the front wheel. Could there be a chance that your local MAG
group will be encouraging the council to provide instructions?
Mr T Hiskitch
Dear WRAG mag
As the rally season is about
to fully open it’s doors again, I thought I would put pen to paper about the
question of kids at rallies. Now I have
no problem with kids (I have five of my own) but I do have a problem with
parents taking kids to rallies, getting pissed and leaving the offspring to
fend for itself, or, as has happened, expecting other rally goers to sort the
kids out. Now that would be fine – I am
happy to sort out any kids, but lately there has been a fashion for not
allowing camp fires at rallies. How am
I supposed to spit-roast the kids for a tender, late supper, when there is no
fire to cook them on? Either the rally
organisers should allow fires, or they should ban the juicy kids!
Mr Binancal
Politics Page
The MAG Western Region AGM
was held on Sunday 21st January 2001, at the Borough Arms,
Weston-Super-Mare. As usual there was a
minimal turn-out (disappointing again) so if you didn’t vote, you can’t
complain!
The usual stuff started the
meeting off - for those of you that have never attended an AGM, these include
apologies, minutes of the last meeting, matters arising and the officers
reports. I am not going to use this
space to copy the minutes of the meeting – your rep will have a copy if you
wish to read it in full, however, I would like to point out a couple of issues
that arose, as I feel they are important to our region…
A. AGC 2001: Last year the region put up a proposal and business
case for AGC-2001 to be held at WSM; full facilities to be included at a
cheaper cost than normal. Also proposed was to include a party weekend, to
encourage greater numbers and the potential of raising income. A lot of work
went into this proposal to ensure it's viability. Unfortunately, the NC appeared
to have decided that the changed date of 2000 (September to the end of October)
be retained, due to the National Treasurer being unable to prepare and
distribute her report for the financial year.
The
following proposal was therefore tabled: "The Western Region questions the decision of the N.C. to move the date
of the 2001 AGC, to the end of October from the traditional date in September.
The Region considers this to be in breach of the spirit and probably the letter
of the National Constitution. We ask the N.C. to reconsider the matter at its
next meeting. If the primary reason for moving the date is to allow more time
to finalise the accounts, then the solution should be to move the financial
year." It was decided that the proposal be communicated to Nich Brown
by Geoff Mills and a letter be sent in confirmation stressing the large
majority for the proposal and requesting the raising of the proposal as an item
at the next N.C. meeting.
Now don’t get me wrong, we
did not produce and submit this proposal because we were bitter about our
efforts being wasted for the AGC 2001 venue; there are other reasons:
1.
Surely it is in the best
interest of the Organisation to have as many members attend the AGC as
possible. Choosing a date at the end of
October, is highly unlikely to encourage several hundred bikers to pull on
their michelin suits, pack up a tent and sleeping bag and head of to a deserted
seaside town, for a meeting that will take up most of a Saturday.
2. Most AGC’s in the past have been held at venues in
seaside towns and indeed this and universities are an excellent choice of venue
– conference room for several hundred delegates; lunch, tea and coffe provided;
hall and bar for the evening party; camping area with appropriate facilities;
rooms (B’n’B etc) nearby for those not wanting to camp. However, around the end of September,
seaside towns generally close for the winter and universities open their doors
to their students, so neither type of venue would be available for an AGC.
3. While the constitution states quite clearly in clause
4.3, that ‘The NC shall fix the time,
date and venue of the group conference’ it also states quite clearly in
clause 4.15, ‘MAG Regional Groups willing and able to host the conference, shall
submit proposals to the NC … by the November 31st preeceding the
AGC, due to be held in the following September.’ All of which indicates that the NC can fix the time, date and
venue, within the month of September.
To change the AGC to the month of October, is therefore a breach of the
constitution and must be put to the vote of all the members in the organisation
at the next AGC. The constitution
cannot be altered by the NC, as and when they like.
The proposal from Western
Region was indeed put to the next NC meeting and the following reply was
received: ‘Western Region expressed
their disappointment at the NC decision to change the 2001 AGC date, although
this decision was confirmed as constitutional. It was accepted that any
undermined arrangements were purely an unfortunate coincidence and that the
possibility of moving the AGC to a less crowded Easter date would be
considered. The NC wished to thank Western Region for efforts already made
towards arranging AGC 2001.’
Unfortunately, I was unable to attend the next regional meeting
and therefore I do not yet know how, or indeed if, we are going to
proceed. The venue that had been
provisionally arranged for us to host the 2001 AGC, has been cancelled because
of the NC decision. I have heard,
however, that Central are disappointed that they have not received proposals
for 2001 – oh, I wonder why???
B. Duk Dik
Rally - The Regional Rally: Now
the site has moved out of Gloucestershire, after many years, the original
organisers are unable to do as much as in previous years. It is necessary for
more people in the region to get involved so that the region can run it in
subsequent years. Glos. MAG are not deserting the rally but are unable to stand
the additional travelling costs for them to do the amount of work they did in
the past. Reps are to go back to their groups to get support in setting it up.
Getting and transporting firewood for the bonfire and furniture are the
immediate problem.
This is a brilliant rally as
you all know, so if you can offer some of your time to help, please do so.
C. Bikers
are Voters: 1st March
- Mass Parliamentary Lobby, London. Geoff Mills is organising a coach to London
(due to lack of parking adjacent to Parliament), with various pick-up points
along the way, which will be regionally funded. All members are encouraged to
contact their MP's to inform them of the lobbying and their visiting the
Parliament. Contact Geoff Mills.
THE LEVELLERS
An excursion into the Heat!
No, not a trip to the sun but a cold December evening at the Colston Hall, to indulge in a session of the Levellers with Cath, Pete, Chris (Grand-puppy) and Rob.
I met up with the gang in the
Horn and Trumpet straight from work, for a couple of pints. Then on round the corner to the Colston
Hall. I must say the only two of us who
had been there before were Cath & Rob and I had originally thought they
were a bit harsh, until I got inside, and fair play it is a dive. Never mind, onwards and upwards … to the
bar, where we bumped into peeps from the rally scene such as Ghost and Teflon.
Due to the important nature
of drinking and gossiping we missed the support bands, however, they sounded
fine from the bar. The time approached
and we adjourned to the moshing pit, quiet in its anticipation of what was to
come (or was it the lull before the storm).
And then, what we had been waiting for … the music started and we all
dripped (with sweat that is) within 2 seconds.
I have never known a game of bumper cars like it and had the war wounds
(bruises) for days. At that point I got
separated from the gang, probably a few well placed elbows got me to the front,
whilst they retreated, and that is where I stayed singing and bopping as best I
could. If you’ve ever had the pleasure
of seeing or hearing me you will be glad to know that the Levellers drowned me
out in real style for a good couple of hours.
I would definitely go and see
them again and I got the impression from the rest of the gang that they would
too. However, we are unanimous in not
recommending the Colston Hall as a venue.
Going home on the bus was a
buzz, or was that just our ears? I
finally managed to cool down by the time we got home and then began to seize up
from too much bopping and dehydration.
Exhausted and exhilarated I crashed out.
My commiserations to Chris
who had booked the following day of work but still had to get up at an ungodly
hour to take the work keys into Reading for 8am in the morning, as he had the
only set!
FEX.
HALLOWEEN
That time of year again – a bunch of bikers all looking very strange; no it’s not just another normal night at MAG - it’s Halloween!
Once again a lot of effort
was made by most people to create original, scary and amusing fancy dress. Our celebrities picked the winners: Eddie
(NotAvon rep) chose Wendy ‘Ziggy Stardust’ for the best female costume – she
looked great! Jennie (Bristol MAG
Treasurer) chose Pete ‘Lara Croft’ as the winner of the ‘mens’ best costume -
very original and amusing and quite scary as well!!
The evening went very well
with plenty of food and beer, great raffle prizes(!?!) and brilliant music by
the Mudsharks. Thanks to everyone who
helped to make Bristol MAG’s Halloween Party a success and thanks to everyone
who attended: £296 was raised for MAG’s fighting fund.
FRED HILL – 25 YEARS ON
Having
the contacts that I do now, I knew that this year the annual Fred Hill run was
going to be special – it is 25 years since his tragic death on that cold
February day at Pentonville Prison and MAG were going to lay a wreath at the
very door of that horrific place. The
usual meeting place at Chievley had been organised and I had explained in
advance to the others from Western Region that the run this year was to be to
the prison itself, in small groups because there would be no police presence,
and not the memorial in Oxford as in previous years. However, my message did not get through sufficiently loud enough
and when we met up at the services, the others were forced to believe in the
evidence produced: a set of directions with a hand drawn map stating 'attempt
at a map, good luck!'. Typed in bold
under the directions was ‘This is not an organised run’. I had previously heard that the police were
asking for an enormous amount of money to escort us and so suprisingly (not!)
it was decided to make our own way there.
Oh
how we laughed.
Those
that were at Chievley when we arrived at 11.30 left shortly afterwards, but we
were under the impression the ‘run’ was not leaving until 12, so decided to
wait for any others that turned up.
Obviously the word had not spread and quite a few riders thought the run
was to Oxford and decided they did not want to ride into London on a Saturday
lunchtime! How wise some people are…
We,
however, decided that we would brave the weather and the traffic and set off
towards the big smoke. Having been
given advise on a better route than that proposed by a biker who worked in the
area, we definitely got lost – ok guys, we took the scenic route! I’m not sure if it was on the A40, before or
where, but we were in a lot of traffic when we passed some of Reading MAG sat
in the middle of the road with a people carrier and appeared to be having
words. Apparently it had pulled across
the lane or something and knocked one of the bikes, bending the gear lever over
the rider’s foot. Well they seemed to
be handling the situation so we carried on, occasionally asking pedestrians
where the prison was and riding a bit further, until it was our turn!
As
we pulled away from the lights, not fast because we weren’t positive where we
were going, a car on the right hand side of the lane decided to turn left,
right where our leader happened to be.
Guess what? Yes, he got hit by
the sports car but managed to stay on the bike, so he and the car pulled over
to the side – the car driver leapt out of his red sporty thing – not, as you
may think, to check if our leader had been injured in the crash, no, he wanted
to see what damage the bike had caused to his car!!! Most of us had been caught by the lights turning red and had to
sit and watch this spectacle from a distance, until the lights changed and we
all pulled over to the scene.
I
must admit, we didn’t try and intimidate the driver (there were eight of us
altogether so seven witnesses) but the guy in the car was a to**er. He tried to blame the bike for the accident
and when details had been exchanged (our leader did not appear to be injured)
he roared off past our bikes, swerving towards them like a prick and then did a
‘U’ turn in the middle of the road!!!
As we looked on in disgust, he came back past us on the other side of
the road and got caught by the now red light – hahahahahaha. I think he was glad when the lights turned
green.
Anyway
about 2.45, we finally arrived at the prison and had a wander up to the front
door where the wreath had been laid, having completely missed all the
speeches. A couple of pictures were
taken of us and then over to the pub for a quick bevvy. There were a few still in the pub, though
most had already left and we said our hellos and recounted our adventures –
which had not yet finished!!
As
we were all going to the party bar one of the guys, we said our goodbyes and
agreed he would pull off at the appropriate time to head back home – uh, well
that was the plan until heavy smoke started pouring from his exhaust. Apparently, that was after the loud bang and
flames had exited the pipe. He
struggled onwards; going slower and slower, in the inside lane of the very busy
dual carriageway on the A40 until the bike eventually decided it was going no further. Now I must point out that only half the
group are now stationary – the front half were already a few miles ahead as
they were not fully aware of the situation.
So we decide that he will push his bike off at the next junction (200yrds away) and we would ride very slowly behind him to protect him from the cars coming up the rear. I don’t think we knew what was wrong but he was in the AA and so we left him there and carried on, hoping to catch up with the others. We passed them at a junction about 5 miles ahead, talking to the police and we carried on slowly, now waiting for them to catch up. Once they did, we had a fairly uneventful journey on to Bicester where we were very relieved to find the Plough hadn’t been blown up or carried off by purple elephants (cos it was that kind of a day!).
After
a beer or two, we put up our tents (not many camped that night) and went back
to drinking. We discovered that the pub
was selling these little 30ml shots of schnapps that come in their own little
plastic glass which has four slits in the base – you remove the sealed lid,
down the drink and then build strange and wonderful towers out of the empty
glasses. This kept us amused for all
of, oh 80 quid or so!!!! They are a
pound a go and there were seven of us in a round and apparently we should have
been very drunk with bad hangovers – well yes, I was very drunk but no hangover
the next day – yippee!!! The band (The
Hoggz) were very good and played some songs but now that I think about it, I
can’t actually remember what!
Apparently they let one of the audience have a go at singing and
generally lots of fun was had by all.
Sunday
poked it’s bleary head out and we all packed up heading off on our various
journeys homeward. I was later informed
that the lot going back to Bristol had another breakdown before Oxford and the
respective party was AA’d home. So, now
we know what it’s like to have a real adventure without going further than 150
miles form your own home!!!
Cath.
WEAR
LEATHER
Shamelessly
plagiarised from the ‘wear sunscreen’ record (and translated from American
vernacular)
Ladies
and gentlemen.. Wear leather.
If
I could only offer you one tip for improving your life, leather would be it.
Serious bikers have proved the long-term benefits of leather over many roads
and many years, whereas wearing something unreliable like shorts and a t-shirt
means you will experience a trip to accident and emergency. There, uncaring
nurses scrub gravel out of your wounds and doctors will dispense ineffective
painkillers and meaningless advice.. like telling you to trade that
‘murdercycle’ in for a mondeo. BULLSHIT. I will dispense some real advice right
now; enjoy the power and beauty of your ride, if you don’t already, you can
fully enjoy it by doing long smokey burnouts in the car park at the local shopping
centre. Trust me, in 20 years you’ll look back at the photos of you and your
pals on your bikes and recall, in a way you can’t grasp now, how much fun you
had and how fabulous you really looked hauling ass down the twisties dressed in
leather. Leather is as sexy as you
imagine.
Don’t
worry about what your mum thinks. Or worry; but know that worrying about what
other people think is as effective as trying to scratch your nose in a blinding
hailstorm at 80mph, with a full-face helmet and winter gloves on. The real
troubles in your life are apt to be Volvos, driven by some dipstick talking
into his mobile phone or doing her makeup; the kind that blindside you at 4pm
on some urban road and then claim you crashed into them! Do one thing every day that scares other driver’s… filter.
Sing into your helmet. Use mouthwash first. Don’t be reckless with other
people’s bikes, especially if you don’t have insurance. Don’t put up with
people who mess with yours…in fact beat them with a chain. Ride fast. Don’t waste your money on chrome or fancy
paint jobs. Spend it on racing or partying. Sometimes you’re fast, sometimes
you’re slow, sometimes you’re hungover. The ride is long and in the end a cold
beer tastes pretty damn good.
Remember
the good rides you’ve had, forget the cuts and bruises. Try to wear the sides
of your tyres before the middle… if you succeed in doing this tell me how. Keep
your oil changed, throw away old speeding tickets.
Take
chances.
Don’t
feel guilty if you ride faster than the posted limit… the most interesting
people I know, didn’t know at 22 how to ride conservatively, all the most
interesting 40 year olds I know still don’t.
Get plenty of saddle time. Be kind
to your passengers, you’ll miss them if they fall off. Maybe you’ll crash, maybe you won’t. Maybe
you’ll ride a cruiser off a cliff doing 40; maybe you’ll get a new traillie for
your 75th birthday. Whatever you ride don’t congratulate yourself
too much - your choices are 90% foreign, 10% domestic, so are everyone else’s.
Enjoy
your bike, use it in every way you can, don’t be afraid of it or what other
people think of it, it’s the greatest instrument of pleasure you’ll ever own -
not counting porn sites and a fast modem.
Use as spanner… even if you have nowhere to do it but in your mum’s
living room. Read the owner’s manual,
even though you won’t remember any of it.
Do not read American motorcycle magazines, they will only make you wish
you’d bought a British one instead. Get
to know your brake pads; you never know when they’ll be gone for good. Be nice to your tyres, they are your link to
the road and the things most likely to save your ass from a nasty highside.
Understand
that mechanics come and mechanics go, but for a precious talented few, you
should pay them well and buy them beer.
Work hard to bridge the gaps in geography and lifestyle because the
older your bike gets, the more you’ll need the mechanic who worked on it when
it was young and still not paid off.
Ride in England once, but leave before you get killed. Ride in Scotland whenever possible, but
leave a plausible excuse when calling in sick for work.
Do
lurid wheelies.
Accept
certain inalienable truths: prices will rise, traffic will get worse, you too
will get old and when you do you’ll fantasize that when you were young petrol
was cheap, the police couldn’t catch you and Harley owners weren’t all
yuppies. Respect your rev limiter. Don’t expect anyone else to see your bike
unless it has really loud pipes. Maybe
your bike has a big fuel tank, maybe a smaller one but remember, either way,
you’ll have to make toilet stops. Don’t
mess too much with your carburettors or by the time you’re done you’ll be
walking home.
Be
careful whose advice you buy and save your receipts. Don’t take advice from
those who supply it for free, especially if they own a Harley. Motorcycle restoration is a form of
self-torture. Doing it is a way of pulling the past from the dustbin,
degreasing it, and painting over the rusty parts and dumping way more money
into it than it’s worth.
But
trust me on the leather…!
Wendy
[the Scottish Burd]
JULIET IS IN GEAR FOR NEW CAREER
The
following article was spotted in the Evening Post and features one of our own
Bristol Babes!
‘Former
swimwear model Juliet Stone has swapped the glamour of the fashion shoot for
the down-to-earth world of the motorcycle industry. The 27-year-old is the only female student on Soundwell College’s
City and Guilds repair and servicing course based in St Phillips.
Juliet,
a mother of two living in Fishponds, has realised her teenage dream of working
with vintage and modern motorcycles.
She said: “I have always been fascinated with the engine of a bike but
could not learn that trade by myself and the guys said it was not for a
woman. When I saw the course at
Soundwell College, I thought ‘Why not?’”.
She
already has a job as a motorcycle technician at the college and intends to
follow a career as a mechanic. Juliet
owns five bikes and she and her boyfriend Kevin Vowles, 38, tour the country
taking part in events organised by the Motorcycle Action Group. Her eight year old daughter Christina and
her six year old son Daniel go along too, travelling in the sidecar of the
Honda GR1000 superbike.’
A VOICE FROM ABROAD
20/3/2001
Greetings from rainy Thailand! The rainy season seems to have
started 2 months early...but we don't expect much sympathy from those of you
back home!
After leaving Indore we picked out the smoothest possible
roads to Nepal for the sake of Mark's cracked wheel rim. Our routed took us through
Shivpuri, Jhansi and Orchha along lovely rural roads and past many ancient
temples and palaces. Then to Khajuraho, where we visited the amazing
"erotic temples".
From Khajuraho we rode to Allahabad via Panna, Ajaigarh,
Atarra and Chitrakut. Most of the other vehicles on the road were ox-carts or
bicycles, with the occasional bus or overcrowded 4WD with passengers hanging on
the back and sides. Along the route we passed strings of pilgrims walking
barefoot who would often stop to perform strange rituals, such as lying flat
out on the road, regardless of the traffic, before continuing on their way.
We arrived in Allahabad while the Kumbh Mela (the largest
religious festival on earth) was taking place, but moved quickly on to
Varanassi to avoid the crowds. On the way to Varanassi, Mark had a close
encouter with some rocks in the middle of the highway, but there was no real
harm done.
We happened to arrive in Varanassi at the time of Maha
Shivaratri (Shiva's Birthday) and got to see the sadhus (hindu holy men) who
had gathered there from all over India to celebrate. It was a wierd and
wonderful spectacle - sadhus in pink and orange robes, naked sadhus smeared in
grey wood-ash, many with long matted dreadlocks and painted faces. And then
there were all the freaky looking westerners seeking "spiritual
enlightenment" who drifted around amongst them. Despite all the pilgrims,
tourists, freaks and holy men there was a calm, peaceful atmosphere. One
morning we took a dawn boat trip along the Ganges in a small boat with half a
dozen indian pilgrims and saw the huge crowds of people along the ghats
performing religious rituals, bathing and washing their clothes in the filthy
Ganges water. It was an amazing sight with all the colourful saris and very
atmospheric too in the soft dawn light.
After Varanassi we headed out of India and into Nepal,
crossing the border at Sunauli. The border formalities went smoothly and only
took a couple of hours. We had spent just under three months in India and had
an excellent time. We are already talking about the things we want to go back
and do in this amazing country!
After crossing into Nepal we rode to Kathmandu the same day,
via Butwal, Narayanghat and Mugling. The first part of the ride was mostly
flat, but once we joined the Prithvi Highway (the road that joins Pokhara and
Kathmandu) things started to get more interesting. The road followed the river
and then gained height, passing through forests and terraced farmland. At one
point Mark had another close encounter, this time with a goat. Luckily he was
fine and the goat ran away looking most indignant! So again, no harm done.
In Kathmandu it was great to meet up with Connor again. (For
those that don't know, Connor is an irish guy on a bike similar to Mark's, who
we travelled with for a while in Iran and Pakistan). We immediately went out
for several guinesses to celebrate!
Kathmandu was a bit of a culture shock after the last few
months of travelling. Tourist handicraft shops, western-style restaurants,
bakeries, supermarkets and bars are crammed in along the narrow streets. We ate
well - lots of juicy steaks - our first red meat for many months!
We spent a few days in Pokhara and got some great views of the
fabulous Annapurna mountain range. These are truely impressive snow covered
mountains. In the end we reluctantly decided against trekking in Nepal on this
visit. After our long delay in Goa, we were anxious to get to Thailand as soon
as possible as we had read in a guide book that Bangkok is unbearably hot in April.
We also reasoned that motorcycles aren't needed for trekking, so we can return
another time without the bikes and do a good long trek.
When we returned to Kathmandu we set about the business of
washing and crating the bikes in preparation for flying to Bangkok. It was a
big disappointment that we were unable to ride overland through Myanmar (Burma)
to Thailand. Flying just isn't the same. On our last day in Kathmandu the Holi
festival was in full swing and everyone was either out in the streets engaged
in paint and water-bomb battles, or hiding away indoors. It would have been
great fun if we didn't have a plane to catch.
Landing in Bangkok we were told that it would feel like a wet
blanket had been thrown over us - a pretty accurate description! The bikes were
supposed to be on the same flight as us, but actually arrived three days later.
It took a whole exhausting day to complete the mountain of paperwork required
to clear the bikes through customs and reassemble them in the sauna-like
customs warehouse - we had removed the front wheels, mudguards, luggage boxes
and jerry can holders to fit them into their crates.
In steamy Bangkok, like country cousins in the big city, we
were struck by the BMWs and Mercedes, the skyscrapers, bright lights and glossy
modern shopping complexes. There were no cows, goats or water-buffalo wandering
in the streets eating plastic bags from piles of rubbish, no men or boys
urinating by the roadside, and drivers seemed to be obeying the traffic rules!
We had a fantastic time in Bangkok, thanks to the excellent
hospitality of Derek and Julia, friends from Bristol who are now living and
working in Bangkok. While we were there we had a new wheel rim fitted to Mark's
bike which was sent by the New Barns Support Crew (thanks!) and took in some of
the sights, including the glittering Grand Palace and the Temple of the Emerald
Buddha (Wat Phra Kaew). But the highlight was "Derek's Tours" -
including: some great restaurants and bars, a look at the famous Bangkok night life,
and a boat trip down the Chao Phraya river to a fascinating food market and
then along one of the canals lined with wooden houses and shops on stilts, to a
temple with a gigantic gold-leafed reclining buddha. We will never forget the
return white knuckle long-tail taxi boat ride, straight out of a Bond movie!
We left Bangkok the day before yesterday and we're now in
Kanchanaburi, site of the famous Bridge on the River Kwai, which was built by
allied POWs and asian forced labour during WW2. We are staying in a rickety
straw-roofed bamboo hut on the river which, much to our surprise, proved
waterproof in the recent rains. For the next few days Mark has planned an
excursion to the Three Pagodas Pass which promises stunning scenery, waterfalls
and hotsprings. He has spotted an enticing little dirt track through a National
Park (jungle!) with wild elephants. After this we plan to go to northern
Thailand into the fabled Golden Triangle area...so long as the rain stays away!
After just over a week in Thailand we have a very positive
feeling about the place. Thai food is wonderful and Thais (with the notable
exception of a couple of guys who work at the airport customs!) are charming.
The only drawback is the heat and humidity which we hope we will get used to
soon. At the moment doing anything more than just sitting or taking a short
walk saps our energy. It looks like we will have to get into a pattern of early
morning starts when riding the bikes to avoid the heat of the day.
Love from Claire and Mark
REGIONAL
INFORMATION
REGIONAL REP Anne Gale 0117
957 2401 e: hunkeshnee@aol.com
ADMINISTRATOR Donna Proctor 01452
380 778 e: derwen@bigfoot.com
TREASURER Kath Adlam 01934 613
303 e: judge_geoff@breathemail.net
TRANSPORT POLICY Geoff Mills 01934 517 888 e: judge_geoff@breathemail.net
MP/MEP LIAISON Wendy Goodchild 0117
961 4029 MOBILE: 0777 941 4384
PRODUCTS Brian Weeks 01275 372 706
EVENTS CO-ORDINATOR Bill Pugsley 01934 620 764 e: piccal@bill-dianne.demon.co.uk
REGIONAL MAGAZINE Cath Waymouth 07811 992 695 e:
purpleheadedwarrior@hotmail.com
COMMUNICATIONS Andy Meredith 01249
444 240 e: andrew@anvil.org
REGIONAL MAG STAND - Contact Brian Weeks if you need
the stand for an event
BRISTOL Anne Gale 0117 957 2401 every Thursday Wagon and Horses
hunkeshnee@aol.com 83
Stapleton Road
Easton
Pub Tel: 0117 955 3036
NORTH AVON Eddie
Garnier 01454 317 402 every Tuesday The Beaufort Hunt Inn
Egarnier@hiuk.com Broad Street
Chipping Sodbury
Pub Tel: 01454 312871
NORTH Ian
Moore 01934 811 656 2nd & 4th Wed’day Borough Arms
SOMERSET Ianmoore@vmaxp4.fresserve.co.uk 358-360, Locking Rd
Weston-Super-Mare
Pub Tel: 01934 413020
MID WILTS Paul
McCullagh 01249 447 310 every Thursday Little George Hotel
29 New Rd
Chippenham
Pub Tel: 01249 652136
GLOUCESTER Derwen Hinds 01242 862223 every
Thursday The Chequers Inn
derwen@bigfoot.com 24, Painswick Rd
Gloucester
Pub Tel: 01452 307030
SWINDON Julian
Maull 01793 790 880 every Wednesday The Check Inn
julian.maull@zoom.co.uk 79
Woodland View
nr
Old Town
Pub Tel: 01793 845 382
EVENTS
17/03/01 MAG
Activists Training Matlock Bath
Derbyshire. Places limited Anne
Gale
18/03/01 Weekend 0117
957 2401
30/03/01 Heddington
Sidecar Club Camping Weekend,
Slimbridge Alan Robertson
01/04/01 01452
382965
01/04/01 Bristol
MAG AGM Waggon & Horses
2pm
07/04/01 Taunton
MAG Egg Run MFI car park, 12
noon
13/04/01 14th
Duk Dik Rally Bands,
Camping, Food, Real Ale Paul
Sysum
15/04/01 £8
members £9 guests 01452
380778
18/04/01 1st
N.Somerset meeting the Black
Horse, Clapton-in-Gordano 8.30pm Ian
Moore
01934
811656
29/04/01 Weston
SM Pet Food Run Details to be
announced Ian
Moore
01934
811656
19/05/01 5th
Sodbury Bike Show Band, Camping,
Bike Show, etc 01454
324 496
£2
Chipping Sodbury Rugby Club 07979
473 153
23/06/01 Bill’s
grand 40th The
Imperial WSM. Live music Bill
Pugsley
Floor
space available 01934
620764
14/07/01 Meta
Menardi Glos MAG
(provisional date) Donna
Proctor
15/07/01 Party,
Camping 01452
380778
18/08/01 Bristol
Bike Show St Nicholas
Markets Bristol
MAG
19/08/01 &
Party
22/09/01 * 50’s & 60’s Night* Chequers Inn Gloucester Donna
Proctor
(Provisional) 01452
380778
The Cross Word for this issue is
‘Arse’